Thursday, March 12, 2015

Just to clarify

I said yesterday that I thought I hated writing.
I wanted to clarify.

I hate writing like I hate running. It's a pain to start, hard to keep momentum, and can sometimes feel like I'm doing it all wrong, BUT at the end of the day I'm glad I did it.

I think writing everyday during an obnoxiously busy month has caused me to dislike writing. It had become one more thing on my to-do list to check off. It's no longer something fun it's a chore.

I think I will challenge myself to write another month when I'm not teaching, planning a wedding, buying a house, dealing with my brother's wedding, and attempting to have a social life. I want to want to write again. Right now I need a break.

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Slice of Life Day 11: I Think I Hate Writing

I think I hate to write. I'm not sure what I get out of it. Half the time it's not cathartic or eye opening.  It's just a hassle.

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Slice of Life Day 10: How Genuine?

Today I have been thinking a lot about how genuine people are. How sometimes we say things just because we think they are what people want to hear, or what we should be saying.

As I was sitting down to write today's post I was thinking about what I could write and how I could really take this post two ways.

I could sit down and find the one bright spot of the day and write an uplifting post. There have been bright spots today. My kids have been working super hard on their projects, and most of them made good decisions when choosing their own groups (and the ones that didn't were not a surprise). I have awesome coworkers who I have developed amazing friendships with, and I get to see them everyday. But this would not be how I am genuinely feeling.

A post that genuinely reflects how I am feeling right now would much less happy and uplifting. Honestly today I am not feeling the bright spots. I am feeling cranky, and tired. I am frustrated and overwhelmed. I want to sit here and complain and rant about my day. I would rather write about how I hit every single red light on my way to work this morning. My dog was being a pain which meant I left later than I wanted to anyway. I'd rather complain about how I have a ton of work to do, and something going on every single night after school this week.

Writing this post got me thinking how often we write a blog-post or tell someone something that is not really what we are feeling at the moment. Whether it is because we don't want to sound whiny or because we don't want people to know how we are really feeling, sometimes we sugar coat things. I want to be honest I want my blog posts to be a genuine reflection of what my day was like. So whether I sound whiny or cranky or get told to focus on the positives this is what I am going with today. I'm going with honesty.

Monday, March 9, 2015

Slice of Life Day 9: The Day That Got Away From Me

It was one of those days that just got away from me.

It started this morning when I thought I was more on time than I actually was.

Then I got caught up catching up with coworkers after an unexpected 4 day weekend.

Even in my classes today I the time flew by as I was making up for lost snow days.

My planning block turned for me inputting grades to me rearranging my desks, which I don't even know how or why that happened.

Then after school I rushed home to walk the dog.

I met one of my bridesmaids at the bridal shop to have her dress fitted, and also to make an appointment for me to have my dress for my brother's wedding fitted.

We grabbed dinner which quickly turned into dinner and dessert.

Followed by grocery shopping, putting away the groceries, and packing lunches (yes I'm a good future wifey and pack his lunch for him occasionally).

I had about three other things to get done before finally sitting down to write this post. I have a feeling this day is setting a tone for the week considering every other day this week is looking just as busy as this one was.

Happy Monday everyone!

Sunday, March 8, 2015

Slice of Life Day 8: Types of People in an Airport

As I sit here nice and early for my flight home (yay!) all I can think about is the fact that airports (along with malls and amusement parks) are the best places to people watch.

I feel as though in an airport there are certain types of people that you see and I have seen them all this morning.

There is always the family trying maneuver the stroller two kids and multiple backpacks through security. I had no clue that they now sell strollers small enough to fit through the security scanner, go figure! I always feel bad for them because so many people give them dirty looks, when really I want to give them a medal for being able to handle all that.

Then there are the businessmen who are experienced. They go through security and the airport as if it is their job. Everything down to a science.

The slow mover. The people who know they have plenty of time, or think they do, before their flight. This means that they move unreasonably slow through everything. They are the ones that actually stand on the moving walkway instead of using it to walk even faster.

My least favorite type of person is the one that has zero clue who to function in an airport. They have no idea what to do with their shoes, belt, liquids, computer, etc. as they go through security. They are also usually the same ones that think it is a great idea to stop at the conveyer belt on the other side of scanner to put everything back together, then causing everything else behind them on the conveyer belt to back up. I had one of those lovely people in front of me this morning. They are also the people that walk around asking every gate agent if they are at the right gate.

Then there is me. The neurotic, nervous, and OCD flyer who has everything exactly where it should be, yet still stresses. I'm the one who insists on arriving to the airport SUPER early only to then sit at my gate for an hour and a half.

It's been a quick but fun weekend. I was so happy to get to spend this time with some of my family, but I am also very ready to be back home!

**I came back to this post to add my favorite type of person that I sadly forgot. The type of person who helps out a fellow traveler. Flying alone is a pain, and it so nice to see that there are still people on this earth that will help another person out if they look like they are struggling, because trust me I was struggling coming through security on the way home. All of my stuff was getting bunched up with other people's stuff because someone hadn't removed their items from the conveyer belt, and a very nice man helped hand me all my belongings. It definitely helps to restore my faith in humanity.**

Saturday, March 7, 2015

Slice of Life Day 7: Siblings, Weddings, and Showers....Oh My!

I made it to Minnesota! And there is less snow here than at home! Go figure!

My mom and I flew out here to attend one of my future-sister-in-law's bridal showers.

My baby brother is 3.5 years younger than me. He is getting married in May about five months before me. He graduates from college the week before his wedding.

I'm pretty sure my mom thinks we are trying to kill her with having our weddings that close together. And it's even odder since my brother and I have never been particularly close. I'm pretty sure if you looked up sibling rivalry in the dictionary you would find me and my brother. It's not that we don't love each other, we just love competing with one another. There for some reason has always been a sense of competition between us.

After the wedding they will be moving back out home and will be living with my parents. I can tell you that we function way better several states apart.

It has been an interesting balancing act, especially for my mom, dealing with the attention that two weddings take. I have to hand it to my mom she has done an amazing job of making things be separate never talking about one wedding when doing something for the other. She has done such a great job of making us both feel special throughout all of this.

Friday, March 6, 2015

Slice of Life Day 6: Facing a Fear

Here I sit on snow day #12 (thankfully we have 15 built into our schedule). I'm feeling especially unmotivated today because later I'm doing something I don't really want to do.

Does anyone else ever find that when they know they have to do something they don't want to do later, that they are especially lazy and apathetic before hand?

I've got plenty I could be doing but I just have no motivation or desire to do it.

At about 7 o'clock tonight I have to get on a plane....I HATE flying. And not just in the "oh traveling is a hassle" sort of way I am legitimately afraid of flying. I've never been able to pinpoint whether it has something to do with the confined space or the fact that we are suspending THOUSANDS of feet in the air. Either way I am just not a fan. I have to take anti-anxiety medications to just get myself on the plane, and best of all today I am flying alone. The last time I flew alone I got stuck in Atlanta by myself for a night, thank goodness this is a direct flight.

I'm flying to Minnesota to visit family and attend my future-sister-in-law's bridal shower. So even though I am looking forward to that, I can't help but let me absolute loathing of flying get in the way of me being excited about this trip.

It's a short flight but I still just have zero desire to get on a plane. My fiance LOVES planes and does not understand my fear at all. He keeps telling me I'm "lucky" that I get to get on a plane....psh luck my big toe.

So until I have to head to the airport I'm going to sit in my bed with my puppy and do exactly what I want to do which is nothing.

Thursday, March 5, 2015

Slice of Life Day 5: The Pressure of Sleeping In

We have yet another snow day today, though I must say I'm grateful because I have things to do around the house.

With a snow day comes the prospect of sleeping in. Last night I was telling Tim how tired I was and his response was "you can sleep as late as you want tomorrow."

NOPE! Clearly that did not happen, because here I am wide awake at 6:30. Now granted I do usually wake up at about 5:30 so that is a whole extra hour of sleep, but still not exactly the 9 or 10 o'clock wake up I was hoping for.

I think the pressure of sleeping in is getting to me with all these snow days.

I go to sleep with all this excitement because I know as you turn off my alarm, "Haha alarm I don't need you tomorrow I'm going to sleep ALL day!" I even stay up a little later watching TV (House of Cards!!) or reading because I know, "Psh I can make up for it tomorrow because I can sleep 'till NOON!"

And of course after making that proclamation of sleeping 'till noon my internal alarm clock has a little laugh of it's own, "HAHA, yeah right! Noon?!? Nope not gonna happen, I'll give you an extra hour of sleep then I'll kick in. Muahaha! You've been messing with my schedule with all these snow days so I'm going to get you back!!" (Apparently, my internal alarm clock is quite vindictive)

Then when I wake up early I of course have the internal battle of do I get up and start being productive, OR do I lay here wiling myself to go back to sleep? While I love being productive, I do also LOVE my bed so usually the later wins. So I lay here, and lay here, and lay here, until finally.....I usually fall back asleep at like 730 or 8.

BUT that is the time the dog wants to get up, or my fiance is awake and making noise.

So here I am at now 6:41 on a snow day wide awake writing a blog post. At least I can be productive from bed (take that internal alarm clock).

Enjoy your day everyone, I'm going to go back to willing myself back to sleep!

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Slice of Life Day 4: Proud Teacher Moment

I had a proud teacher moment today.

The school I teach at is on a block schedule. For the past two weeks or so most of our snow days have been falling on B-days. Needless to say my kids are severely behind. I FINALLY got a chance to see them today, and with the threat of more snow (thanks Mother Nature) I am wiling to bet I will not see them again this week. On top of all of that we had a reverse schedule because of SOL testing. This means that I was seeing kids at a different time then I usually see them, and they were extremely out of routine.

When I came in this morning I was determined to make sure that they got caught up with my A-day kids. My B-day classes just happen to be my classes with some of my less motivated students in them. I was a little worried about trying to push through so much material (many wrapping up writing assignments and then introducing our next unit).

But then my students surprised me. ALL of my classes got caught up with their A-day counterparts. I was so proud and impressed by my students. I even had kids who it is is usually torture to get to write finishing writing assignments without me having to stand over their shoulders. I could not have been more proud of my kids.

I made sure to tell them that too. I told each and every class who proud I was and how awesome it was that they powered through so much work.

So as much as I may complain about work sometimes I had a day that reminded me how awesome my students are, and how proud they can make me. It was so great to have that reminder today.

And the control freak side of me feels satisfied to know that all of my classes are in the same place now. I can go into our impending snow days happy and with a little bit more grading to do now that they all have their worked turned in.

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Slice of Life Day 3: Written Memories

I must confess I am a hoarder. Not in the "I need TLC to come save me" sort of way but in the "I hold on to way too must stuff" sort of way. I hold on to EVERYTHING. This means emails too. Not the junky emails with coupons that expire or reminders to pay my bills (I'll gladly delete those and pretend that doesn't exist), but emails from my friends and family.

I started my day off at work with an email from my mom telling me and my Maid of Honor about a dream my mom had about my bridal shower. Apparently in the dream my MOH was SUPER mad at my mom for inviting someone, and it was so real my mom woke up thinking my MOH was actually mad at her. She then went on to tell us how she realized that it wasn't real because we have yet to even plan my bridal shower, and it made her laugh so she had to share it with us.

I laughed as I read through the story and quickly filed in my "Friends and Family" folder in my Gmail account. I use this folder to store all the emails from just that my friends and family. Not emails about dinner dates or upcoming events, but meaningful emails. This of course prompted me to look through some of the other emails in that folder. I have emails from my mom telling me to have a good day, and notes from my fiance telling me he loves me. I found an email from my now MOH from FOUR years ago when I was going through a tough time with a link to an uplifting quote. It almost brought tears to my eyes.

This reminded me why I obsessively save stuff, and why I never delete emails. Whenever I need a pick me up or just a little reminder of how loved I am I have it all right at my finger tips.

So, while some people may think I'm nuts for saving SO much stuff, or while some people poo-poo the digital age for not being personal I say =P

Monday, March 2, 2015

Slice of Life Day 2: When your dog is lazier than you are

Just about a year and a half ago my fiance, Tim, and I adopted a little brown dog. I say brown dog because he is a mutt (some mixture of lab, hound, terrier, goodness knows what else). His name is Geordi and he is my little baby booger (he actually responds to the name Booger now which Tim hates).

He's a lot bigger now than he is in that picture. Geordi weighs about 60lbs now. He is a smart stinker too.

So, this morning on my slightly unexpected snow day I got up to walk him a little later than I usually do, which I knew would not be a problem since Geordi has become quite used to sleeping in with all our snow days recently.

As I'm pulling on my boots, gloves, and jacket I'm calling for him to get out of bed. Nothing. Doesn't budge.

So I grab a bag of treats and rattle them around calling for him to come here, saying it was time to out. Nothing, just sits there and yawns in my face.

Then Tim tries to help. He gets up and offers Geordi a treat. So this time Geordi gets up and lumbers off the bed. We praise him profusely for getting out of bed, almost like when a student never does homework finally turns something in.

I turn to grab his leash and the little stinker hops right back up into the bed and curls up. So there I am fully dressed in my layers of winter weather gear trying to now physically pry my 60lb dog off the bed so he can go use the potty. I finally am able to get some leverage and pry him from the warm covers, and this time I remembered the leash. I was victorious!

Now we are both tucked back up in bed watching the ice melt.

Sunday, March 1, 2015

Slice of Life Day 1: The best laid plans

With so much going on in my life right now I doubt I'll have any trouble coming up topics to write on each day this month, and even beyond. Today I had no problem at all knowing exactly what to share. 

I feel as though as a teacher I should know that even with a perfectly laid out lesson, or a well thought out unit plan something always goes wrong. I know that with a lesson but I seem to have trouble remembering that life lesson when it comes to life outside the classroom.

I am getting married in October of this year, and have been engaged since last May. I was able to book my first choice photographer and we quickly set a date for our engagement photos. Well those photos have yet to happen.

Originally they were scheduled for November 2014, and it rained. Then January 2015, and it snowed. So I was hoping beyond hope as our newly rescheduled date which was today approached that everything would fine. Well clearly mother nature is out to get us judging by the wintery mix falling outside my window. My fiance and I were preparing to drive down to Yorktown (he is from the area and wanted to have pictures done down there to represent a little bit of him since we are having the ceremony up here) yesterday when we started seeing increasingly awful weather reports. We made the gut wrenching decision to reschedule AGAIN.

As I sit here watching it sleet/snow/freezing rain outside my window, and hearing about the rain that is falling in Yorktown I know that we made the right decision, but that doesn't make it any easier. It makes me realize yet again how little control we have over some things.While logically I know that we will get the photos taken, and everything will be okay, the somewhat bridezilla emotional side of me is losing it.

So I am going to attempt to do something productive with my day. I will grade book reviews, plan out my week, and hopefully (fingers crossed) be able to run some errands.